‘Twas the Night Before Christmas

To help get you guys in the holiday spirit, I decided to take a look back at some of the more “interesting” parts of this young NBA season, Christmas style.

‘Twas the night before Christmas, ranked 15th in the league,
It appeared quite obvious that the Hawks missed Jeff Teague
Oh, losing Horford is not a big blow!
Let’s settle for a crybaby who can’t hit a free throw

Memphis signed Parsons to dig them out of a trench,
Now he gets paid to watch games from the bench
“Please be worth it,” Chris Wallace prayed
But Chandler has worn more V-Necks than games he has played

Cuban thought his team would come ready to play,
But they might fare better in the NCAA
Cuban thinks he is known for his craft,
But he’ll forever be known as the Grinch who can’t draft

Two successful draft picks in 22 years
You wonder why Dallas fans are always in tears
Being worse than the Pelicans is probably a sign
That something is wrong on the Mav’s sideline

Matt Barnes, still pissed D-Fish got the dub
Took it out on a woman at an NYC club
Boogie Cousins said to Matt, as he’s his biggest supporter
“Next time just take it out on a reporter”

“Now, on Lebron! On, Love! On, Kyrie! Lue continued to scream
LeBron then poilitely asked, “Sir, who runs this team?”
James then explained to the man called Coach Lue,
Kevin and I are going to take the day off, and Kyrie will too

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
Phil’s choice of words made LeBron and friends cry
Phil brought up his mom and no one can attest
LeBron really doesn’t like that, just ask Delonte West

Out of nowhere, D-Mo wanted to return
But he must pass a physical to play, when will he learn?
As I drew in my hand, I heard a large man make a sound,
Shaq’s stuck in the chimney! He’s way too round

Dressed in suit, looking nice for a geezer
He forgot he had presents, and went straight for the freezer
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
But Shaq just could not wait to get himself a snack

Demarcus knew it was Christmas, but he was far from merry
Spending that much time with George Karl could make anyone scary
Grandpa George said bad things about Melo
Guess his nurses forgot to bring him apple sauce and Jell-O

Karl’s book was great, he blew off some steam
Imagine if he put that much effort into coaching his team
He walked out of his office, looking so grim
On the way to his car, Grayson Allen tripped him

He was chubby and plump, a not-so jolly old elf,
Yes, this is Phil Jackson. So full of himself
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
When would he retire? Something nobody would dread

Afflalo spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
But when he lost playing time, he then turned into a jerk
He refused to go in the game when Coach asked him to play
Is this professional basketball or the YMCA?

We’ve never seen anything like him, and won’t for so long,
But for as long as we live, we all must stay Sager Strong
We know Craig would say to us, with his suit shining bright,
HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!

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